No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
