I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Randomize
