Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
