Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
