talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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