were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize