Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
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I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
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Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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