I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i would punch a child for taco bell
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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