I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
