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• (206): View more from Washington

  Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?

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• (804): View more from Virginia

  just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos

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• (619): View more from California

  reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy

  (1-619): View more from California

  sounds legit

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.

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  These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.

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• (406): View more from Montana

  Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.

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• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.

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  These 17 Parents Decided to Cut Contact With Their Horrible Kids

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• (774): View more from Massachusetts

  Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.

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• (910): View more from North Carolina

  Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.

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• (510): View more from California

  I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.

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• (415): View more from California

  My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"

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• (903): View more from Texas

  Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.

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• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room

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