Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  Congratulations on your moose knuckle.

  (614): View more from Ohio

  Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (585): Congratulations on your moose knuckle. (614): Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated. http://tfl.nu/9z1g
  Replies (7) Good night (2947) Bad night (909)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life. http://tfl.nu/dy8h
  Replies (17) Good night (5336) Bad night (810)
• Favorite

  (562): View more from California

  If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (562): If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up http://tfl.nu/jdv3
  Replies (24) Good night (12095) Bad night (1466)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (832): How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?! http://tfl.nu/iqkb
  Replies (59) Good night (2046) Bad night (5365)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (817): Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent" http://tfl.nu/6trp
  Replies (6) Good night (1445) Bad night (2832)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (405): I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid http://tfl.nu/bd90
  Replies (6) Good night (1282) Bad night (859)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (612): i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough. http://tfl.nu/e9ws
  Replies (1) Good night (1216) Bad night (933)
• Favorite

  (979): View more from Texas

  I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (979): I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels. http://tfl.nu/it3k
  Replies (2) Good night (809) Bad night (542)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (770): If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it. http://tfl.nu/yx1o
  Replies (4) Good night (874) Bad night (457)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (714): So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing. http://tfl.nu/3b6z
  Replies (5) Good night (587) Bad night (380)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (805): My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday http://tfl.nu/39ab
  Replies (2) Good night (880) Bad night (370)
• Favorite

  (+34): View more from Spain

  Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+34): Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting. http://tfl.nu/s4tk
  Replies (1) Good night (582) Bad night (319)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.

  (971): View more from Oregon

  Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps. (971): Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi? http://tfl.nu/bulj
  Replies (4) Good night (1067) Bad night (427)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (202): Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake http://tfl.nu/zcp7
  Replies (0) Good night (523) Bad night (329)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (505): Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water. http://tfl.nu/zjrt
  Replies (1) Good night (329) Bad night (776)

Randomize