Texts From Last Night

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  (620): View more from Kansas

  Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.

  (1-620): View more from Kansas

  No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.

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  (620): Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night. (1-620): No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man. http://tfl.nu/p24k
  Replies (9) Good night (1511) Bad night (584)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"

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  (913): id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!" http://tfl.nu/e9j9
  Replies (5) Good night (2425) Bad night (581)
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  (818): View more from California

  Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?

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  (818): Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me? http://tfl.nu/awe5
  Replies (45) Good night (2336) Bad night (980)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!

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  (401): This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan! http://tfl.nu/8a5r
  Replies (26) Good night (5353) Bad night (988)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.

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  (860): when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage. http://tfl.nu/ckot
  Replies (212) Good night (860) Bad night (10603)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?

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  (617): it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right? http://tfl.nu/n56d
  Replies (10) Good night (4538) Bad night (1672)
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  (925): View more from California

  We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...

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  (925): We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo... http://tfl.nu/7fya
  Replies (6) Good night (970) Bad night (2300)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.

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  (519): It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina. http://tfl.nu/mbje
  Replies (8) Good night (2612) Bad night (732)
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  (641): View more from Iowa

  you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts

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  (641): you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts http://tfl.nu/ee07
  Replies (10) Good night (2526) Bad night (813)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.

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  (541): I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore. http://tfl.nu/k0jx
  Replies (5) Good night (1817) Bad night (566)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.

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  (724): Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it. http://tfl.nu/l2a6
  Replies (8) Good night (506) Bad night (1014)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...

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  (303): Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"... http://tfl.nu/l31e
  Replies (7) Good night (1501) Bad night (516)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.

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  (717): Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English. http://tfl.nu/s5ju
  Replies (3) Good night (1586) Bad night (915)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  I guess I'm open to more types of dick now

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  (425): I guess I'm open to more types of dick now http://tfl.nu/myaz
  Replies (5) Good night (587) Bad night (237)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?

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  (615): I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like? http://tfl.nu/fbjj
  Replies (2) Good night (707) Bad night (237)

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