Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?