Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?