Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.

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  (248): They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking. http://tfl.nu/97aw
  Replies (9) Good night (551) Bad night (2300)
• Favorite

  (952): View more from Minnesota

  Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...

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  (952): Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy... http://tfl.nu/fupk
  Replies (7) Good night (1066) Bad night (2578)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave

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  (716): i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave http://tfl.nu/v8cs
  Replies (39) Good night (795) Bad night (4815)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.

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  (314): I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures. http://tfl.nu/uab2
  Replies (124) Good night (4888) Bad night (971)
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..

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  (913): Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one.. http://tfl.nu/0qqy
  Replies (9) Good night (4238) Bad night (1171)
• Favorite

  (559): View more from California

  Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10

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  (559): Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10 http://tfl.nu/1xln
  Replies (13) Good night (6960) Bad night (917)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.

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  (440): I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body. http://tfl.nu/6n6i
  Replies (4) Good night (2037) Bad night (758)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  So squirting runs in the family.

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  (603): So squirting runs in the family. http://tfl.nu/x29o
  Replies (16) Good night (3935) Bad night (1397)
• Favorite

  (325): View more from Texas

  This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be

  (325): View more from Texas

  Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets

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  (325): This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be (325): Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets http://tfl.nu/9qmi
  Replies (3) Good night (893) Bad night (1212)
• Favorite

  (309): View more from Illinois

  I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.

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  (309): I almost lit my balls on fire tonight. http://tfl.nu/1whc
  Replies (10) Good night (547) Bad night (1224)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.

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  (717): I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass. http://tfl.nu/cjg7
  Replies (8) Good night (668) Bad night (866)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.

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  (360): I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved. http://tfl.nu/qhmk
  Replies (5) Good night (796) Bad night (594)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard

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  (973): Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard http://tfl.nu/5c0l
  Replies (18) Good night (349) Bad night (2305)
• Favorite

  (903): View more from Texas

  I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.

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  (903): I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot. http://tfl.nu/592z
  Replies (7) Good night (642) Bad night (245)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.

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  (610): Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me. http://tfl.nu/e3p7
  Replies (2) Good night (243) Bad night (541)

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