Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(602): View more from Arizona

i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...

Fav 10 2539 964
share tweet
(603): View more from New Hampshire

I just threw up on my dentist

Fav 20 1217 3522
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(914): View more from New York

End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.

Fav 75 6819 1535
share tweet
(270): View more from Kentucky

It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night

Fav 19 4319 1581
share tweet
These 23 People Are Living Shocking Lies
Read it at the TFLN blog
(850): View more from Florida

We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.

Fav 2 2856 1053
share tweet
(313): View more from Michigan

Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...

Fav 6 2360 2048
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(208): View more from Idaho

You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?

Fav 6 2329 1037
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(480): View more from Arizona

I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.

Fav 12 1321 845
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(440): View more from Ohio

This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?

Fav 1 27 32
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT