Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(727): View more from Florida

Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van

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(727): Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van http://tfl.nu/7qz4

Replies (13) Good night (2203) Bad night (721)
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(512): View more from Texas

Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.

(405): View more from Oklahoma

I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.

(512): View more from Texas

Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.

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(512): Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me. (405): I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me. (512): Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked. http://tfl.nu/bn4w

Replies (64) Good night (2804) Bad night (854)
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(401): View more from Rhode Island

just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?

(1-401): View more from Rhode Island

tie

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(401): just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant? (1-401): tie http://tfl.nu/oumz

Replies (30) Good night (705) Bad night (2460)
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(586): View more from Michigan

I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."

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(586): I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope." http://tfl.nu/2m2o

Replies (36) Good night (843) Bad night (3775)
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(716): View more from New York

can you take me to a tanning bed

(1-716): View more from New York

sure, why though?

(716): View more from New York

i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious

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(716): can you take me to a tanning bed (1-716): sure, why though? (716): i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious http://tfl.nu/lgox

Replies (31) Good night (645) Bad night (6406)
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(816): View more from Missouri

Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.

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(816): Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower. http://tfl.nu/cq6t

Replies (41) Good night (1571) Bad night (13467)
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(216): View more from Ohio

As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.

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(216): As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks. http://tfl.nu/d4mm

Replies (14) Good night (1193) Bad night (4361)
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(843): View more from South Carolina

Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.

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(843): Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean. http://tfl.nu/s35t

Replies (9) Good night (4718) Bad night (1128)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.

(1-860): View more from Connecticut

He just wants an even tan

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(860): I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked. (1-860): He just wants an even tan http://tfl.nu/akk9

Replies (18) Good night (4235) Bad night (1188)
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(716): View more from New York

It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.

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(716): It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it. http://tfl.nu/308e

Replies (5) Good night (3694) Bad night (882)
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(913): View more from Kansas

I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off

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(913): I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off http://tfl.nu/aizm

Replies (5) Good night (686) Bad night (897)
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(303): View more from Colorado

I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.

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(303): I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day. http://tfl.nu/g7z2

Replies (2) Good night (709) Bad night (478)
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(918): View more from Oklahoma

Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.

(1-918): View more from Oklahoma

Basically.

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(918): Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god. (1-918): Basically. http://tfl.nu/nlil

Replies (8) Good night (2931) Bad night (507)
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(765): View more from Indiana

We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.

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(765): We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven. http://tfl.nu/19wc

Replies (3) Good night (1418) Bad night (550)
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(916): View more from California

Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing

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(916): Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing http://tfl.nu/jyrs

Replies (4) Good night (423) Bad night (293)

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