Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
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