You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
