I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I still have a little drunk in my system
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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