He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
