i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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