atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
two words: eviction party
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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