eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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