Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Too much gin, very little bucket
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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