How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize