atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
