I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
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Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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