..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Randomize
