i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
