im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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