my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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