spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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