She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
