saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize