I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
