I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
