I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Randomize
