he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
