did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
