you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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