Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
