i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
