Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Randomize
