Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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