Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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