She is in my trunk
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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