how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
