dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
