i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I came so hard my ears popped.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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