you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Randomize
