Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
