38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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