I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I have post one night stand depression
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
