I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century