my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet