So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
