just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
