My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
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Do I have a choice?
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But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
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