Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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