OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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