Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Randomize
