Best friends brother. Beat that.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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