Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize