I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
