you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
