i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize